Copy of Tips for Parties: You can listen as well as you hear

■■ Start where people are, and not where we want them to be. Recognition of peoples’ experiences of conflict, and how it affects their thinking. ■■ Many people may not be able to elevate their own thinking to strategic rational calculations without recognising the traumas suffered to date during the conflict. ■■ Trust-building may not be possible between parties that have done each other a great deal of harm. ■■ Address issues of self-interest, core values and identity before focusing on areas of potential strategic agreement. ■■ The seeds of effective mediation are less about the unrealistic search for common ground and more about the establishment of potential areas of mutual self-interest.